Hello,

Just had my first appointment with my new hosptial today. I found it very upsetting. The lady doctor was very professional and on the ball but she pressed a couple of my buttons (understatement). When I go to appointments, I get quite tearful. So I was very emotional today , dont know why PMT or more than likely anxious about moving hospitals and making the right choice, The doc made several quick assumptions and said I was obviously depressed. This made me even more emotional that I couldnt really articulate what I wanted that yes I probably was depressed due to a whole load of shitty things that have happened in my life leading up to getting RA, but its been the recent roller coaster of care that has really wiped the floor with me.

She went on to say that not all aches and pains are done to RA some of them are menopausal, old age/wear and tear and depression. I said I was on enough tablets without depression, and I felt hurt that she questioned whether or not I had RA as I was on a very low dose of steriod and she couldnt see anything apparent not even my large knuckles to indicate RA. There 2 days ago i couldnt cut to cook or eat, and there today I sat, almost perfect in front of her.

This then send me spiralliing down, questioning if I had indeed done the right thing by moving hospitals, my last hospitals were trying to get me on to sulphazine and methx which I refused as I afraid I would have a similar experience of not having proper monitoring. Thankfully the consultant assured me that they didnt work the same way , so thats a relief. Then I am being told that the option could be to stay on same medicine including steriods.... but we would discuss it once she had all the results, which left me uncomfortable as all the warnings I got from my last hospital about being on steriods over a long period of time. I told her the steriods arent doing it for me as the dose is so low and I am baring the pain not to occur side effects.

So thankfully I rang up the research unit in charring x which i am participating in a trial to help other newbies in diagnoses and treatment and they confirmed yes I do have RA, which comforted me strangely to know where I am. I just want to get on with my life please knowing whats the problem. Though I realise that she has to check as i am a new patient and not assume that I have RA.

Of course the last appointment I had with the old hospital went very well, but I know I had good reason to change so its a case of weighing up the pros and cons of both as its not a straightforward swap. One of the main reasons I moved hospital is I felt I hadnt got a nurse to get advice or recommendations. So I asked for to be introduced to the nurse and I got a 6 month appointment. I know I probably can call her before that. Its just that things are not all I expected them to be.

Hi Mari,
Sorry it wasn't as good as you'd hoped , but it's early days and may hopefully turn out to have been a very good move.
You were bound to feel tearful, you had probably put a lot of pressure on yourself to decide which hospital to choose and now you've made the decision and probably feel that if this isn't right you can't change again. Well I hope you won't need to , but if you do it is possible.
You had a bad experience at your last hospital and together with feeling so ill, it's no wonder you feel down. Constant pain is enough to make anyone feel down and I'm sure inside us we can tell whether we are truly depressed or just very down.
When are you seeing the consultant again?
Try not to dwell on today's experience, just look forward to getting the results and then getting onto some effective treatment, with better monitoring this time.

Love and hugs,
Doreen xx

Hello Mari
aww no do so hope it turns out be excellent and that she was just be precatious through for you,annoying isnt it when joints are awful then on day appear normalish.
grr.
u been threw alot
sending u big hugs.
lv melly

Hi there,

I think you've done the right thing to move if you felt you weren't getting the treatment you needed. Shortly after I was diagnosed, the Rheum department went through a succession of doctors in a short space of time so every visit was with someone new. It was very distressing but luckily, I've had the most wonderful rheummy for the past three years or so and it's made all the difference. I think it's very important to feel comfortable with your team of doctors / nurses and confident in their ability to treat you as well as to understand you and your needs. It takes time to forge a new relationship so hopefully after another few visits, your new doctor will begin to understand you and the trust can build up.

I also find I'm very emotional at my visits to the doc / nurse. I think when people are asking you questions about what is going on, it's a release of tension and emotion that becomes rather overwhelming.

I really hope that you start to see the benefits of changing over and that the doctor can move towards getting you on the right meds too.

Joanna

Hi All

thank you all for your support. I still feel quite traumatised from the afterschock of emotions at the appointment. I have made an appointment with my GP to discuss what to do.

I just feel stuck, I cant go back or forward as I am not happy with either situation. I think I might write a letter and be direct and say that I was disappointed with the consultation due ot feeling tht she assumed a lot within the short time it took to summise the reasons why I was depressed, whiles she doesnt really know me. Also it has been drummed into me about steriod use and I am not going to stay on a low dose and still be left in pain.

I was so freaked out at teh meeting that when she pushed my hand back my hands felt quite tight but didnt feel anything and today I am in pain big time - it feels like my writs has been crushed. My hubby is going to come with me next time for support.

I dont think I can take much more of this care as I am tired of the upset and having to push for everything. Its all a bit tiring.

Mari

Hello Mari,

So sorry you are having such a rough time. I don't know whether you have seen it, but NRAS have a booklet called 'Explaining your symptoms' which is a guide to help you when attending the clinic.

This may help you to prepare for your consultation and keep your thoughts in order. If you ring the office, they will send you one.

I always write everything down that I want to discuss so that I get the best out of my consultations with nurse, GP or consultant.

Hope this helps.

Warmest wishes, Ann

P.P.S Mari,
It is a great idea to take your husband with you. I always take my
partner along now.
I just reread the bit you wrote about having your hands pushed back and
feel your Rheumatologist needs to know how much it hurt you the next day.
Kind regards,
Fiona

I am so sorry that you have been left feeling so let down. It beggars belief that any other humon being doesn't realise the importance of reassurance and being treated with respect at their appointment. Perhaps one day this person may suffer from an illness and realise just how important this is.

Eleanor x

I;m glad you're feeling a bit happier now. I think it takes time to get to know a new doctor, although she shouldn't have made assumptions about you.

Hopefully next time you go the appt will be more helpful to you.

Lyn